Cover Letter

Below is a cover letter I used the other day in applying for a job at an ad agency in Chicago. Some of the words they used in describing the ideal candidate were: "curious," "storyteller," "eclectic user of information," "courageous," and "positive." So, I thought I'd show them rather than tell them my qualifications. Upon reflection, I realized that the idea for this letter likely came as a result of having read Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles earlier this summer. We'll see if I get contacted for an interview...

August 29, 2008

Saatchi & Saatchi X:

Greetings people of Chicago on the planet Earth. My real name is Lothan and I am from the orbiting body known to you as Pluto. I have been sent by my people to Earth to secure necessary resources that will save them from impending doom.

Located at a great distance from the central star of our solar system (the Sun), we receive a limited amount of solar radiation, which is necessary to maintain life. While we have developed the technology to utilize the solar radiation we do receive to create an advanced civilization, we are under attack from our competing race that resides on Charon, the moon that orbits our lovely planet. They have destroyed our solar processing plants and have taken control of our government. I have been sent secretly in a rocket ship away from Pluto to seek help from our brothers on the planet Earth.

Being trained in the academies of my people, I will serve as a tremendous asset to your agency, as I have extensive experience at the Great Agora (market), perceived by your people as Planet X, but which is the great trading center of this region of our galaxy (the Milky Way). Account Planning is one of the many skills my people possess and, with my advanced knowledge, I will help your clients strategically enter this lucrative trading network, which will bring great prosperity to your planet in these economically troubled times.

In return for my services, the salary that I receive will be used to assemble solar capsules, which I will send home to my people in order to sustain life. In time, they will organize themselves into a powerful rebellion and once again resume control of our lovely planet and rebuild our civilization.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to speaking with a representative from the glorious Saatchi & Saatchi X advertising agency soon.

With great respect for your noble race,
Lothan
www.flabdad.com

Reconnecting With An Old Friend

Today I ran into an old friend of mine from 20 years ago! David Hart and I knew each other in West Lafayette, Indiana where we went to the same Church and also went to Kindergarten together. My one relatively vivid memory is watercoloring at his kitchen table one afternoon -- I probably remember that because I thought it was so cool that he had paints at his house and I really liked to paint.

So, how did we run into each other after all these years? His dad, Dr. Craig Hart, spoke at today's BYU Devotional, so I thought I'd go say hi. I was surprised when Sis. Hart, recognizing the family resemblance, guessed my last name.

The Saints of San Antonio

For the past year or so I've been working on a video project about the history of the LDS Church in San Antonio, Texas. This year (2008) is the 50th anniversary of the formation of the San Antonio Texas Stake (which is similar to a diocese), so, in addition to video-taping their celebratory fireside, I interviewed (with the help and support of some friends of mine) several pioneers of the LDS Church in Central and South Texas. Footage from all of this is now available on a website my cousin helped me make:

http://www.saintsofsanantonio.com

The Smoking Dumpster

What better way to celebrate Pioneer Day than by starting a fire in a dumpster? Apparently, somebody thought that because that's what happened at my apartment complex. To see what happened, check out the following slide show:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2197854&l=de8b1&id=17823452

A Word (and a Caution) about Advertising

One of the professors in the Advertising Department at The University of Texas at Austin recently sent out an email seeking to know who among their current students and alumni had advertising blogs. So, this entry is my attempt at doing my part to blog about advertising.

The following quote is by Heber J. Grant, seventh president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, from a talk he gave at the Church's General Conference in October of 1935. It illustrates the power of advertising to effect public opinion.

"Never in all my life have I thought and believed and been convinced that the Latter-day Saints need the Word of Wisdom [the Church's health code] so much as they need it today. Why? Because the whole United States has discarded prohibition. They have gone back to liquor. This they have done because the cry went out, 'There is more drunkenness, there is more drinking of whiskey under prohibition than there was before we had prohibition.' Pardon me, but all of the advertisements of that kind were pure, unadulterated falsehoods. . . . Millions upon millions of dollars of money were spent in propaganda, which was based on falsehoods, to bring back whiskey to the people. At a great national convention the people shouted, 'Hurrah! Hurrah! We want our beer; we want our beer; we want our beer!' And they got it." -- Heber J. Grant, October 1935 (Gospel Standards, 56-57)

As this year is another election year, we should be careful as to which advertising messages we give heed -- what are they really saying and what are the long-term effects of following their lead? Advertising seems most persuasive when it appeals to (wo)man's base desires -- money, sex, power, ease, etc. -- so, messages with these appeals are the ones we should be the most cautious about adopting. Consider the long-term effects of the repeal on prohibition -- premature death, unwanted pregnancy leading to abortion, broken homes, idleness, etc. -- and we might be filled with enough wisdom and perspective to see the long-term effects of our present choices and, thereby, choose wisely.

My Bow-Tie Guru

During the last year of my undergrad at BYU I worked in the same department on campus as Bishop Huntington, my ecclesiastical leader, so I would run into him fairly often. I had noticed that he would occasionally wear a bow-tie to work, but one day I took special notice and, with Homecoming approaching, had this strange desire to wear a bow-tie to the dance. The next day, he wore a bow-tie again, so I asked him where a good place was to buy a bow-tie. He smiled and said, "I don't know. Ask my wife." Then he took me back to his office and showed me a website where his wife would order bow-ties for him. He told me that when my bow-tie came in the mail, I should bring it into work and he would show me how to tie it.

A few days later, my bow-tie came in the mail, so I anxiously brought it into work. Bishop Huntington was impressed with my choice of design and told me that bow-ties were sophisticated and made you memorable to other people. He took me down the hall to the men's bathroom and demonstrated in the mirror how to tie my bow-tie. After he had tied it a few times, he handed it to me to let me have a try. After a few false starts, I got it right and he helped me adjust the bow to make it look its best. I tied it a few more times for practice and he told me that he was impressed with how quickly I had learned the technique. When we were finished, he gave me a practice bow-tie, one of his own bow-ties that he didn't wear much anymore, so that I wouldn't have to wear out my new bow-tie with continued practice.

A Fall Without the Colors

So, I once had this idea of taking a girl on a date to drive the Nebo Loop and look at fall leaves. It never worked out, so I ended up moving to Texas (yeah, that's not quite accurate, but it sounds better that way) where they really don't have a fall season (at least not to the same degree as along the Wasatch Front in Utah). After awhile, I realized that I really missed the fall, so I started writing some lyrics about it. I never got very far, but maybe I will at some point.

Explanation of Why This Blog Exists

So, I just discovered that Jeffrey Smith has a blog and I thought, "If Jeffrey Smith can have a blog then why can't I?" (It's kind of like if Tommy Lasorda can drink Slim Fast then so can I -- whether or not I need it.)

Anyhoo, so I chose the black template because it looks more mysterious and classy and because it might be taken more seriously this way -- even though none of these are my aim for making this blog. I'm only making this blog because Jeffrey Smith has a blog -- so why can't I?

Secondary reasons for making this blog are to practice my writing, since that's an important skill to have, and since I miss writing for the Capital Ward Newsletter back in the day. We'll see if I can make things as entertaining now as they used to seem.