Below is a cover letter I used the other day in applying for a job at an ad agency in Chicago. Some of the words they used in describing the ideal candidate were: "curious," "storyteller," "eclectic user of information," "courageous," and "positive." So, I thought I'd show them rather than tell them my qualifications. Upon reflection, I realized that the idea for this letter likely came as a result of having read Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles earlier this summer. We'll see if I get contacted for an interview...
August 29, 2008
Saatchi & Saatchi X:
Greetings people of Chicago on the planet Earth. My real name is Lothan and I am from the orbiting body known to you as Pluto. I have been sent by my people to Earth to secure necessary resources that will save them from impending doom.
Located at a great distance from the central star of our solar system (the Sun), we receive a limited amount of solar radiation, which is necessary to maintain life. While we have developed the technology to utilize the solar radiation we do receive to create an advanced civilization, we are under attack from our competing race that resides on Charon, the moon that orbits our lovely planet. They have destroyed our solar processing plants and have taken control of our government. I have been sent secretly in a rocket ship away from Pluto to seek help from our brothers on the planet Earth.
Being trained in the academies of my people, I will serve as a tremendous asset to your agency, as I have extensive experience at the Great Agora (market), perceived by your people as Planet X, but which is the great trading center of this region of our galaxy (the Milky Way). Account Planning is one of the many skills my people possess and, with my advanced knowledge, I will help your clients strategically enter this lucrative trading network, which will bring great prosperity to your planet in these economically troubled times.
In return for my services, the salary that I receive will be used to assemble solar capsules, which I will send home to my people in order to sustain life. In time, they will organize themselves into a powerful rebellion and once again resume control of our lovely planet and rebuild our civilization.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to speaking with a representative from the glorious Saatchi & Saatchi X advertising agency soon.
With great respect for your noble race,
Lothan
www.flabdad.com
August 29, 2008
Saatchi & Saatchi X:
Greetings people of Chicago on the planet Earth. My real name is Lothan and I am from the orbiting body known to you as Pluto. I have been sent by my people to Earth to secure necessary resources that will save them from impending doom.
Located at a great distance from the central star of our solar system (the Sun), we receive a limited amount of solar radiation, which is necessary to maintain life. While we have developed the technology to utilize the solar radiation we do receive to create an advanced civilization, we are under attack from our competing race that resides on Charon, the moon that orbits our lovely planet. They have destroyed our solar processing plants and have taken control of our government. I have been sent secretly in a rocket ship away from Pluto to seek help from our brothers on the planet Earth.
Being trained in the academies of my people, I will serve as a tremendous asset to your agency, as I have extensive experience at the Great Agora (market), perceived by your people as Planet X, but which is the great trading center of this region of our galaxy (the Milky Way). Account Planning is one of the many skills my people possess and, with my advanced knowledge, I will help your clients strategically enter this lucrative trading network, which will bring great prosperity to your planet in these economically troubled times.
In return for my services, the salary that I receive will be used to assemble solar capsules, which I will send home to my people in order to sustain life. In time, they will organize themselves into a powerful rebellion and once again resume control of our lovely planet and rebuild our civilization.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to speaking with a representative from the glorious Saatchi & Saatchi X advertising agency soon.
With great respect for your noble race,
Lothan
www.flabdad.com
1 comment:
this is hilarious. So Mark-esque!
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